Deny yourself

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”

Matthew 26 verses 24 and 25

The concept of saying no to something you want is somewhat foreign in today’s society. We are encouraged to chase after every potential source of personal happiness, whether it be in the form of career, status, wealth or relationships.

You want to do well on that group project? Don’t partner up with a low-achiever, even if they do seem lonely. You want to be seen as popular and fun? Don’t bother to hang out with that girl who everyone says is weird, even if she has reached out. You want to go adventuring on the weekend? Don’t stay back and help out your dad around the house, even if he has been busy and stressed lately. I am sure you can think of your own example - a time in which you have chosen to ignore another’s interests in favour of your own.

It is so much easier to live this way; serving ourselves. But as a disciple of Jesus, we are called to deny ourselves and serve others. Meaning, we should “do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2 verses 3 and 4).

So how do we foster a spirit of selflessness? How do we say no to ourselves and give up those things which we value?

I believe the answer is revealed to us in Philippians 3 verses 7 and 8: “But whatever were gains to me, I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.”

Paul, the author of this passage, clearly experienced a massive shift in priorities after becoming a disciple. Prior to his conversion on the road to Damascus (Acts 9), he was a well-known Pharisee, Roman citizen and expert in the Law of Moses; he lived a life of prestige and power. However after experiencing the saving grace of God, he gave up all of this. He left behind home, career and friends to join a faith that he had once openly persecuted. And why? Because in comparison to the invaluable treasure of knowing Jesus, every earthly gain became insubstantial and meaningless. He recognised truth in the words of Mark 8 verse 36: “What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?”

Following the example of Paul, we too should reframe our thinking and reconsider our values. If we truly seek to take up our cross and follow Jesus, we must first renounce ourselves as the center of existence and say no to the persistent demands of sinful nature. For “those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires” (Galatians 5 verse 24).

This is easier said than done. To help us genuinely overcome selfishness in our daily lives, it is important to remember that our behaviour and speech overflow from our heart. Rather than simply denying poor choices of action and word, we must cut off selfishness at its’ root. As soon as a seed is planted in our minds, we should dig it up and cast it out. By becoming aware of our own weaknesses and susceptibilities, we can more quickly recognise when prideful thoughts arise and prevent them from being nurtured. Through daily self-denial, our relationship with God will be strengthened.

When we are willing to sacrifice time, energy, position, reputation, privileges, comforts, and even our very life for the sake of Jesus, we may indeed lose favour in the sight of man. But in our weakness, God’s power is made perfect (2 Cor 12 verse 9). For all those who humble themselves will be raised up (Luke 14 verse 11) and those who are last shall be first in the kingdom of God (Matt 19 verse 30).

So, you want to do well on that group project? Deny yourself and choose to be kind. You want to be seen as popular and fun? Deny yourself and choose to be compassionate. You want to go adventuring on the weekend? Deny yourself and choose to be selfless. I am sure that you can think of your own example - an opportunity in which you will choose to put aside your own interests in favour of others, for the sake of Jesus Christ.